Whispers of Christ

“I have a question for you. Is it biblical to say that God won’t give you more than you can handle?” Sarah asked. 

“Why do you ask?” I replied. 

“I was talking to my friend about a situation that feels overwhelming to her right now and when I said that, her face totally changed. She got really upset and said that I was not speaking in agreement with biblical truth.” she explained to me. 

Internally, I had a little chuckle. Questions like these are my favorite. It is a statement that every christian uses and is considered normal. What people mean is that God will get us through, but they never think through the statement as a whole.

I smiled as she continued, “I think she’s wrong. I mean it doesn’t make sense that it’s not biblical and everyone at church says it. I’ve been saying it for years!”. 

I knew what she meant. It was one of those “christianese” phrases that had been repeated for generations. People who go to church regularly pick up a certain way of speaking. They say things that sound almost right enough that no one challenges their thinking. Fortunately, I love to challenge social norms. 

“Sorry Sarah, it actually is not biblical.” I replied. I could hear her sharp intake of breath through the phone. 

“Are you sure? I’ve been saying it for years and no one has corrected me.” She replied calmly. 

Jesus, bless this conversation. Help me to be clear and give her ears to hear it. I prayed silently. People don’t always listen well when they are being corrected via phone. 

“It’s not biblical and if you want, I would be happy to share my reasoning.” I stated.

“Yes, please!” she quickly replied. 

Thanking God for the opening, I began to share with her why Christians should stop saying this phrase. 

I love my friends because they ask me these types of questions. I love the questions because no matter how much they challenge my faith, I get to wrestle and learn more about God and what he says. The above story is no different. Sometime before this conversation, I had seen an image go around on Pinterest about how this statement had no biblical basis. I’m a big fan of making sure anything you say is as accurate as you can get it, to that end I investigated it. I realized that this phrase inadvertently shifts the focus from God’s glory to our strength while discouraging dependency, was a nice way to downplay peoples struggles, and twisted scripture while minimizing Christ’s work on the cross. Let me explain. 

Shifting Our Focus

God will only give us what we can handle – I hate to burst any bubbles (actually, I’m really only too happy in this area) but that statement is a lie. God is known for giving oversized challenges to his children. Think about the following examples:
1) David versus Goliath 

David was a young man, probably in his teens. Let’s say he was about average height for a 16-year old. Let’s average it at 5’6”, while Saul was estimated to be about 6’, which is pretty tall by all accounts. Guess what?! Goliath was estimated to clock in at 9 feet tall. To put that into perspective for you, David was about the size of Tom Holland (Spiderman), Saul was about the size of Chris Evans (Captain America), and Goliath was taller than the tallest man recorded – Robert Wadlow, who was measured at 8 feet and 11 inches. I’ve included an image below so that you have a visual representation of what the difference would be.

Even though Saul offered David his armor, which let’s be honest wouldn’t have fit, that wouldn’t have been enough to go against Goliath. 

2) The Red Sea

Part of me thinks that God likes throwing his kids into challenging situations. I mean I know he’s not sadistic about it, but I think there is a weird kind of “just you wait and see what I’m gonna do!” sort of mentality. The Red Sea is a great example of this. He sets his children free from Egypt and not a week later they are backed against the Red Sea with nowhere to go and the army of Egypt coming at them. Just to be clear, we aren’t talking just soldiers. We are talking archers, and chariots. I would be properly terrified – so much so that I would probably wet my pants at least twice.

3) The Fiery Furnace 

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego are put into power in Babylon by God. They are then punished when they refuse to bow down to a golden image. King Nebuchadnezzar was so upset that he ordered the furnace temperature increased 7 fold (basically to its absolute hottest). It was so hot that it killed the soldiers who had to push the men in. I’m sure that when they were standing there looking at it, they were sweating and not just because of the heat. 

4) The Lions Den

Daniel, who was promoted alongside Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, is then known for when he refuses to stop praying. King Darius punishes him by sending him into a pit with a bunch of hungry lions. While Veggietales makes a great show about this and they order pizza, I’m certain that’s not what happened. I’m sure he was very scared and wondered what was next. 

5) Jesus In Gethsemane

My list would be incomplete without listing Jesus’s moment of great anxiety in the garden of Gethsemane. He prayed that God would remove the cup (the trials to come) from him. In fact, he was under immense stress that he was sweating blood. Sweating blood is a real physical phenomenon. It’s called hematohidrosis and it happens when the capillaries (small veins) around the sweat glands rupture because of extreme physical stress or emotional trauma. The blood mixes with the sweat and tends to be excreted around the face, forehead, and under the eyes. 

I’m fairly certain that in each of these cases, it was more than they could handle and it probably felt that way too. I’m not saying that they didn’t handle it well. It came out alright because God interceded for all of them. God puts us in situations that we cannot handle so that his glory can shine through. He sets us up for failure so that when it’s successful, we know and those around us know that it’s only because of God. When we say “God won’t give you more than you can handle” the focus shifts from looking at what God is doing and depending on God to focusing on how you can “handle” it. Do you see that? The focus moves from God to your strength… Our focus is always to be on God! 

Silencing Their Struggle

Using this phrase unintentionally tells the person that their struggle isn’t important enough, that they need to push down their pain and not acknowledge what they are going through. Basically, it leads to bottling emotions. As the body of Christ we are called to share our burdens (Galatians 6:2-5) and never do you see Jesus saying “Oh, you can get through this.” He always acknowledged the person’s hurt and pain. He may not have let them wallow but he saw it and called it for what it was. Telling someone their pain or experience isn’t important, whether intentionally or not, is the best way to lead them into living in shame. Shame is not a fruit of the Spirit. It doesn’t lead to encouragement, love, or good works – trust me on this. While complaining may not be biblical, lamenting is (hence the book called “Lamentations”). Look at the book of Job. The whole story is a lament! Half of Psalms if not more is a lament. Even Jesus (again, in the garden of Gethsemane) lamented. So how do you help your friend who is talking about their struggle? You lead them back to the truth. I’ll share what that can look like later in this post. 

Twisting Scripture

I believe that the origin of this phrase probably came from 1 Corinthians 10:13, which says “No temptation [regardless of its source] has overtaken or enticed you that is not common to human experience [nor is any temptation unusual or beyond human resistance]; but God is faithful [to His word—He is compassionate and trustworthy], and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability [to resist], but along with the temptation He [has in the past and is now and] will [always] provide the way out as well, so that you will be able to endure it [without yielding, and will overcome temptation with joy].” 

It’s really a great verse, but so misused. First, this verse is referring to temptation, not life seasons like grief, trauma, or hardship. Second, it is telling you that you will not be tempted beyond what you can endure – this tells me that if there is an exit sign – that’s your cue. God makes a way out because he knows that we are fallible and fickle human beings. Believers have been pulling verses out of context for far too long. This is one of them and we need to stop. This phrase twists scripture to use it in a way it was never intended to be used. 

Now what? 

After I sat down and really thought about how inaccurate the phrase was, I realized that I needed to stop saying it. I was sowing dishonest seeds. Words are so powerful and so I only want to sow seeds of truth, love, and kindness with my words. Paul says in Ephesians that we are to encourage each other toward love and good works. This phrase wasn’t going to do that. But here is the issue, if you see something that is not accurate and stop saying it, you have to replace it with truth or you leave a void. A void can easily be refilled by the enemy if it’s not filled with truth from God. 

So my question became what do I say instead? Here are some of the options:
a) God may give you more than you can handle, but he is sufficient. 

b) Lean on God. 

c) This season will pass, maybe painfully, but it will pass. 

In Closing

I would strongly encourage each of you to think carefully about phrases or words that we say regularly. Matthew 12:36-37 tells us that when we face the judgement seat, we will have to give an account of all that we have said and be held accountable for it. I’m not sure about you but that puts a proper fear in my heart. I’ve said a lot of horrible things, whether intentionally or not and standing in front of Jesus having to see his face when I give the accounting does not excite me. While I really feel the pressure of having to watch my words, I am also so very grateful for the sacrifice that Jesus did on the cross. Thank God that when I fail, I’m still covered by the blood of Christ and he is sufficient when I am weak! I pray that you have found the same covering and grace that I experience daily. 

With all my love (and probably extra passion), 

Hannah